I shouldn't have told her

My wife was already up making breakfast for the little one; I freshened up and made my way over the kitchen where she and cherry-blossom were going around in circles. I said “Honey, why didn’t you wake me up?” she looks at me with a pleasant expression on her face and says “A kiss and hello first wouldn’t have been so bad you know …and I thought I would let you sleep in a little, you have worked very hard last night” “Alla,” I murmur giggling frantically, like a teenage girl talking about a boy she likes to her friend as I turn around walking away pinching my self to check if I was still dreaming, first Adeer and now this endearing compliment. Hmmm?? You see, she never talks like that ever. She is conventional with capital ‘K’; I on the other hand am a freelance liberal.


Picked up the remote and began my couch potato routine on Sundays, flipping through the sports channels to see if my favorite teems were playing. Better half yells “I made omelets, do you need two or four slices?” “Four please” I replied. Shortly, we were sitting munching on the plans of the day and deliciously done omelets together, the bread toasted just enough to make it crunchy and caressed with light strokes of mayonnaise, Inside the triangle layers of dough lay olive oiled omelets with green and red peppers, ring like cut onions with a touch of sweet baby parsley and cheese. Gulping my saliva before every bite, I decided to unburden my dream to lovely wife, extracting interpretations of my dream and excluding of course, minimal details like being naked and stared at by couple of guys accompanied by a woman.

I explained how uncomfortable I got when I got called ‘Adeer’ by the young men I was playing soccer with. I was playing the defense position when this young man said “Adeer, aniga iisoo baas” and upon heading him utter that sentence I passed the ball back to the goalie out of spite, which lead to getting scored on by our counterparts. In few minutes time my entire teem was echoing “Adeer this Adeer that” I really don’t know how I stayed to the finish, I was totally disoriented by such utterance. Hence the dream, do you think I have made the transition? I mean, how does one know when the time has come? Even if that was the case, I have two good months before I hit the three-O, besides how the heck did these kids (I mean young men) know that my yesteryears were becoming memoirs of the past to look back at?

When she interjects and says “Well, have you looked at your self lately? You’re fat, [no I shouldn’t say that] husky, is perhaps the word and you have no hair. Frankly, now that I look at you closely you do look like an old man, heck, I could even pass as your daughter, tell me, how did I ended up with you?” says my not so lovely anymore wife. Fat to husky hmm, now, was that complimentary insult or insultingly complementary I asked my self in the midst of responding “I can’t believe it, given, I have gained couple of bounds, though that’s all due sympathy wait (we are expecting soon) and my hair you see, nature took its course and there was nothing I could’ve done. By the way I could no way be older than you, I was born in a modern hospital with birth records and the whole 9, unlike you heh, who was born under a tree somewhere in Lasqorey or somebody” I grumble. She laughingly says while walking away “Leave me out of this, you are getting paranoid over nothing and if you persist, I will willingly go out to buy you some [anti aging creams]” I grind my teeth, I really wanted to get the last word in, but I was vacant of any good comebacks and could only think of saying [yeah right] which I did. I kicked my self for that lame comeback afterwards, though I wasn’t in it to neither win nor get defeated to begin with.