The unsolicited roommate
Three weeks ago I went for a trip for a week, landed on Sunday morning sleep deprived and extremely worn-out, and didn’t even manage to take off my clothes headed straight for the sack. Rejuvenation was my key concern since I was going back to work Monday morning.
Woke up around 7pm sleep gobying, bathed and brushed, fixed my self a bowl of cereal, watched some TV, went back to bed to read a book and hopefully catch some shuteye. The damn book got more interesting on every turn of a page. Was it perhaps, I was in no state of inactive position since I woke up several hours ago or perhaps, the book did deserve its recognition.
I contemplated these pop up thoughts while I read the book, when unexpectedly I heard these noises, noises a squirrel would make digging sand. I have seen way too many nature programs in my days. Besides, I have spent many lonesome nights at this apartment; I know the sound the fridge makes, the sound my wristwatch makes, the sound the sliding door on the coat closet makes. But this was a fresh sound, so I raised an ear, it grew stronger, don’t know what or who was making these noises, but it definitely had my undivided attention.
Little terrified, I got up turned on the lights, looked under the bed, there was nothing there. In a paranoid state, didn’t know what to do, and now that I was up and about didn’t have the valor to go back to bed, sat on the couch for few minutes waiting to hear the noise again, it was quiet again, then turned on the TV. Lucky for me Jay Leno was on, thought to my self, perhaps a little Jay would restore my manhood, whatever this craze was, it was striping my guts right under my nose.
Continued watching Jay, there were no more noises; the soothing silence in the house was once again my companion. Went back to my comforting zone, forgot anything had happened. Soon enough, I felt something touching me on my neck, jumped up so high I almost hit my head on the ceiling, screaming “fuck, fuck, holly fuck”. It bounced off my head, I saw it for what it was, it wasn’t pretty, it freaking touched me, fuck.
Restless, terrified and utterly thunderstruck, four years I lived here, never seen such creature, how on earth did this happen? I was only gone for a week; made it life’s mission to share mortgage with spiders, and only spiders. I took the garbage out, vacuumed before I left, left no dishes in the sink, so how? How, is what I would like to know, for fuck sake's, what am I going to do now?
“Think” , I says to my self, self says “think of what? We have never dealt with a situation this severe” , I says “well, there isn’t time for dispute, come forth with answers or solutions. Better yet screw you, I think I have an idea, let’s go” . Thought, what am I doing talking to my self. This is nuts, and headed for the door.
To be continued.....
